Marriage Humour

♣ Conversation between husband & wife ♣

[1]
Wife : 'What are you doing?'
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband : 'I was looking for the expiration date.'

[2]
Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?' Wife : 'Yes or no.'

[3]
Wife : 'You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?'
Hubby : 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife : 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby : 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'

[4]
Wife asked her husband : 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'

[5]
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'


○○0○○ Stress Reliever ○○0○○

[1]
Girl : 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries,
troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy : 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl : 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

[2]
Son : 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning,
he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing..'
Son : 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

[3]
Girl to her boyfriend : One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies : 'Thanks for the early warning.'


☺^^☻Husbands are husbands ☻^^☺

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the Head with a frying pan.

'What was that for?' the man asked.

The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on It that I found in your pants pocket'.

The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name Of the horse I bet on'.

The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the Head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'

Men Never Listen

In a Chicago Hospital , a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall." He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW , WA , PP20 and a red one labelled ATR.

Who would know if he touched them?

He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this.
Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.
Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.
"What happened?" he exclaimed. "The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button."
"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."

MEN NEVER LISTEN...

Nice Quotes

"MUSIC is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life." (Beethoven)

"MUSIC gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, and life to everything." (Plato)

The Color of LOVE

For some folks the color of LOVE is
Red fiery and hot..

For others the color is,
Blue placid and calm..

For some, it is,
Yellow caring but cautious..

For others, it is,
Orange rich and fruitful..

For some, the color is,
Lavender gentle and kind..

For others, it is,
Purple sacrificing and giving..

For some, it is,
Green with its go go go..

For others, the color is,
White pure and undefiled

But for me the color is RAINBOW
Red and Blue
Yellow and Orange
Lavender and Purple
Green and White

The RAINBOW painted by God is a symbol of F0rEveR—LOVE..
And … as long as there is sunshine and rain …
There will always be RAINBOWs..
And ... as long as there are RAINBOWs ..
There will always be F0rEveR—LOVE for you.

--S Dick Innes--

DON'T QUIT

When things go wrong

As they sometimes will

When the road you’re trudging

Seems all uphill;

When the funds are low

And you want to smile,

But you have to sigh;

When care is pressing you

Down a bit,

Rest if you must,

But Don’t Quit!

--unknown--

New Office Policy per 2009

EFFECTIVE per JANUARY 1, 2009

NEW OFFICE POLICY

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*) Dress Code:

1. You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

*) Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.


*) Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.


*) Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

*) Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

*) Lunch Break:

• Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
• Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
• Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation And input should be directed elsewhere.


The Management,

As I Mature

^^
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've Learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just a**holes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better have a big w*lly or huge b**bs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others,
They are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first,
the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that 99% of time when something isn't working in your house,
one of your kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon,
and all the less important ones just never go away.

--unknown--

Hold True Friends and Don't Let Go

Friends..... ...

They love you, but they are not your lover

They care for you, but they are not from your family

They are ready to share your pain, but they are not in your blood relation.

They are........FRIENDS! !!!!



True friend...... ..
Scolds like a DAD..
Cares like a MOM..
Teases like a SISTER..
Irritates like a BROTHER..
And finally loves U more than a LOVER.

--unknown--

I'm Thankful

I’m Thankful . . .

For the husband who complains when dinner is not on time, because he is home with me, not with someone else.

For the teenager who is complaining about doing dishes, because that means he/she is at home, and not on the street.

For the taxes that I pay, because it means that I am employed.

For the mess to clean after a party, because it means that I have been surrounded by friends.

For cloths that fit a little too snug, because it means I have enough to eat.

For my shadow that watches me work, because it means I am out in the sunshine.

For my lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing, because it means I have a home.

For all the complaining I hear about the government, because it means that we have freedom of speech

For the parking spot I find of the far end of the parking lot, because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation.

For my huge hitting bill, because it means I am warm.

For the lady behind me in the church that sing off key, because it means that I can hear.

For the pile of laundry and ironing, because it means I have clothes to wear.

For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means I have been capable of working hard.

For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours, because it means I am alive.

And finally… for too much email in my inbox, because it means I have friends who are thinking of me.

Be Happy :)

--unknown--

If One Day ...

If one day you feel like crying … call me.
I don’t promise that I will make you laugh
But I can cry with you

If one day you want to run away – don’t be afraid to call me
I don’t promise to ask you to stop …
But I can run with you

If one day you don’t want to listen to anyone … call me
I promise to be there for you
And I promise to be very quite

But if one day you call … and there’s no answer …
Come fast to see me
Perhaps I need you

--unkown--

Love and Friendship

Love is like the wild rose – briar
Friendship is like the holy tree
The holy is dark when the rose – briar blooms
But which will bloom most constantly?

The wild rose – briar is sweet in the spring
It summer blossoms scent the air
Yet wait till winter comes again
And who will call the wild briar fair?

Then scorn the silly rose – wreath now
And deck the thee with the holly’s sheen
That when December blights thy brow
He may still leave thy garland green

--unknown--

The Miracle of Friendship

There’s a miracle called friendship
That dwells within the heart
And you don’t know how it happens
Or how it gets its start
But the happiness it brings you
Always gives a special lift
And you realize that friendship
Is God’s most precious gift

--unknown--

The Recipe of Friendship --unknown--

One cup of sharing

Two cups of caring

One cup of forgiveness

Mix them together

To make me & you

Friends forever

LOVE is ...

Love is being happy for the other person when they’re happy …
Being sad for the person when they’re sad
Being together in bad times … and being together in happy times

Love is the source of strength
Love is being honest with yourself at all times …
Being honest with the other person at all times
Telling, listening, respecting the truth and never pretending

Love is the source of reality
Love is an understanding so complete …
That you feel as if you’re a part of the other person
Accepting the other person just the way they’re
And not trying to change them to be something else

Love is source of unity
Love is the freedom to pursue your own desire …
While sharing your experiences with the other person
The growth of one individual along side of …
And together with the growth of another individual

Love is the source of success
Love is the excitement of planning things together …
The excitement of doing things together

Love is the source of future
Love is the fury of the storm and calm in the rainbow

Love is the source of passions
Love is giving and taking in a daily situations
Being patient with each other’s needs and desires

Love is the source of sharing
Love is knowing that the other person will always be with you …
Regardless of what happens
Missing the other person when they’re away …
But remaining near in heart of all times

Love is the source of security
Love is the source of life!

by Susan Polis Schutz

Three Magic Words

When you said, "I love you,"
I went over the moon.
My heart sang its glory,
The stars sang in tune.

As when with a word
God brought forth light,
So with these words
You ended my night.

So with these words
You made something new:
A bond of devotion
Between me and you.

How powerful words
To shape who we are!
We ponder in silence;
Our words cross a bar.

Your words crossed a threshold
And entered the past,
Yet they have created
A world that will last.

frm Nicholas Gordon site

Thank God I Have You

I sometimes think that I could be alone:
Really alone, with neither God nor friends.
The people near me then might well be stone:
Just faces on a frieze that never ends.
And I would travel in my mind towards death,
A world within a world sealed like a tomb.
My thoughts would be as silent as my breath,
And, like my breath, expire at my doom.
Such thoughts would make me shudder, were not you
A world where I may enter and find rest.
A rock gives way within, and I walk through
To be in laughing eyes a welcome guest.
Thank God I have you, friend, that I might stay
And be as I could be no other way.

frm Nicholas Gordon site

Your Sm!Le

You have a smile that lights the world,
Shining from within,
Breaking out between the clouds
That form the skin of self.

Lucky we, to live nearby
That unpretentious sun,
To share its fire, to feel its love,
To know its warmth so well.

Just as the sun's sweet liquid joy
Is captured in the wine,
So with us your happiness
Is captured in our lives.

frm Nicholas Gordon site

Proverbs of LoVe

One can be unhappy by oneself, but to be truly tormented,
one must love.

Love is harder to accept than to give.

To love is to embrace life. To love fully is to embrace both
death and life.

The secret of happiness is simple:
be loving, giving, caring.
Why, then, are so many unhappy?
Because they are afraid.

Love only yourself, and you are alone.
Love only one other, and the two of you are alone.
Love only your family, and your family is alone.
Love only your nation, and your nation is alone.

There can be no communion, not even with yourself,
except through love of God.

frm Nicholas Gordon site

Friends Forever

May our friendship last forever
May I sail upon your sea.
May we go through life together
May there always be a "we."

May I be your endless sky
May you breathe my gentle air.
May you never wonder why
Each time you look for me, I'm there.

May we be for each a smile
Like the warm, life-giving sun
Yet when we're in pain awhile,
May our suffering be one.

May we share our special days,
The happiness of one for two
And if we must go separate ways,
Let my love remain with you.

frm Nicholas Gordon site

Love Was Not Enough for Us

Love was not enough for us,
Though we were much in love.
We started down the well-worn path,
But it was not to be.

Delight was not enough for us,
Nor tenderness that moved
Through years of angry dissonance
Towards some dark, bitter sea.

Our differences were far too great,
Our lives too far apart.
We didn't like each other much,
But put that truth aside

Until one day it was too late
To reignite the heart.
One told the other, who agreed
At last that it had died.

But then, ah, then! we felt our loss
As unremitting pain,
As deep and inconsolable,
Unbearable regret.

And all alone we had to cross
That desert once again
That we might know that we had loved
Too much to soon forget.

frm Nicholas Gordon

The Ant Philosophy

1st part philosophy

ANTS NEVER OUT:
- If they're headed somewhere and you try to stop them, they'll look for another way.
- They'll climb over, they'll climb under, they'll climb around.
- They keep looking for another way.
LESSON: To never quit looking for a way to get where you're supposed to go.


2nd part philosophy

ANTS THINK WINTER ALL SUMMER:
- You can't be so naive as think summer will last forever..
- So ants are gathering their winter food in the middle of summer.
- You've got to think rocks as you enjoy sand and sun.
LESSON: It is important to be realistic. Think ahead.


3rd part philosophy

ANTS THINK SUMMER ALL WINTER :
- During the winter ,ants remind themselves, "This won't last long; we'll soon be out of here."
- At the first warm day, the ants are out.
- If it turns cold again, they'll dive back down, but then they come out the first warm day.
LESSON : Stay positive at all times.


4thpart philosophy

ALL THAT YOU POSSIBLY CAN
- How much will an ant gather during the summer to prepare for the winter?
- All that he possibly can.
LESSON : Do all you can……….and more!


-----------------------------------------------
In a Nutshell……. Four part philosophy
-----------------------------------------------

• Never give up
• Look ahead
• Stay positive
• Do all you can

The Most Powerful Words

The following three-word phrases can enrich every relationship.

These are just three little BUT VERY POWERFUL words!!!

Try them

I’ll Be There
If you have ever had to call a friend in the middle of the night, to take a sick child to hospital, or when your car has broken down some miles from home, you will know how good it feels to hear the phrase “I’ll be there.” Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we’re truly present for other people, important things happen to them & us. We are renewed in love and friendship.We are restored emotionally and spiritually. Being there is at the very core of civility.

I Miss You
Perhaps more marriages could be saved & strengthened if couples simply & sincerely say to each other “I miss you.” This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired & loved. Consider how ecstatic you would feel, if you received an unexpected phone call from your spouse in the middle of your workday, just to say “I miss you.”

I Respect You / I Trust You
Respect and trust is another way of showing love. Its conveys the feeling that another person is a true equal. If you talk to your children as if they were adults you will strengthen the bonds & become close friends. This applies to all interpersonal relationships.

Maybe You’re Right
This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions. The flip side to “maybe you’re right” is the humility of admitting maybe “I’m wrong”. Let’s face it. When you have a heated argument with someone, all you do is cement the other person’s point of view. They, or you, will not change their stance and you run the risk of seriously damaging the relationship between you.Saying “maybe you’re right” can open the door to further explore the subject, in which you may then have the opportunity to get your view across in a more rational manner.

Please Forgive Me
Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up that he has been in the wrong, which is saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I Thank You
Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don’t take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

Count On Me
A friend is one who walks in when others walk out. Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those that are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there indicating “you can count on me.”

Let Me Help
The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.

I Understand You
People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understands them. Letting your spouse know in so many little ways that you understand them, is one of the most powerful tools for healing relationship. This applies to any relationship.

Go For It
We are all unique individuals. Don’t try to get your friends to conform to your ideals. Support them in pursuing their interests, no matter how weird they seem to you. Everyone has dreams, dreams that are unique to that person only. Support and encourage your friends to follow their dreams. Tell them to “go for it.”

I Love You
Perhaps the most important three words that you can say. Telling someone that you truly love them satisfies a person’s deepest emotional needs. The need to belong, to feel appreciated and to be wanted.Your spouse, your children, your friends and you, all need to hear those three little words “I Love You.”

A True Friend

A true friend
A true friend is the one who picks you up when you fall
A true friend is one that won't lie
A true friend is there when you call
A true friend is there when you want to die
A true friend knows just what to say
A true friend won't care what other people think
A true friend will help you find your way
A true friend will make sure you don't sink
A true friend will help you choose your path
A true friend will know when something is wrong
A true friend has to sometimes face your wrath
A true friend makes you feel like you belong
A true friend

........ by Ashley Reese

Mother

Mother is she who spends sleepless night to make you sleep
Mother is she who understands you from the very deep…

Mother is she who will laugh and cry along with you….
Mother is she who teaches how to drink, eat and how to chew…

Mother is she who scolds you for your good
Mother is she who will support you in any mood…

Mother is she who accepts you in any situation…
Mother is she who motivates you for your every little creation…

Mother is she who gives you blessings at every step…
Mother is she who is always worried for your fate…

Mother is she who can catch you if at any moment you lie…
Mother is she who never wants to see her baby cry….

Mother is she who is different from all other…
Mother is she who is never comparable to any other…

........ by Sumita Datta

I Miss You My Friend

I miss you more than words can say,
I think of you each single day,
I love you like my sister and friend,
I'll always love you til the end,

The more i think, the more i weep,
at least i have memories to keep,
I know we'll meet again soon enough,
but i can't wait cos this is tough,

every time i see a pretty flower,
i think of you then my eyes shower,
every time i take out my photo pile,
i look at you and me and i smile,

all the memories i hold in my heart,
no need to miss you, we're not apart

........ by Amanda Linzi

Words

Words are simply read and spoken,
But very few understand the worth of it.
Speak once to live
Speak none to live forever.
Silence is dreamt
To the glory it lies with success.
Speak less to understand more
Speak loud but speak softly.
Words are many but life is short,
Speak what is limited to get better half of it

My Beautiful Friend

You made me laugh when I cried so hard
You gave me bracelets to cover my scars
You held me close when I was so cold
You offered a comforting hand to hold

You picked me up whenever I fell
You showed me heaven when I was blinded by hell
You answered my calls in the darkened night
You gave me the reasons to hold on and fight

You rescued me when I was drowning in pain
You placed me back on the right path again
You loved me forever and stayed by my side
You entered my heart as an angel to guide

You may not be with me so much anymore
But I know you will leave open a beckoning door
I miss you so much but I'll fight till the end
I love you so much my Bestest friend

........by Emma

If I Were ...

If I were a memory I’d hold you there forever
Reminding you of the good times we shared together

If I were a smile on your face I would stay
Never to let sadness chase me too far away

If I were a teardrop I’d roll gently down from your eyes
Not to burn much but to mend your sweet cries

If I were a hand I’d want you to hold me in your own
Carry me through life .. even when I’m grown

If I were feet I would stay inline with you
So I could be with you in all that you do

If I were a shadow I would always follow
We’d face things together in all the tomorrows

If I were pain I’d stay far away from the start
To make sure you never felt me or I never broke your heart

If I were a song I’d be a sweet sound to your ears
To keep up your hopes and carry you through the years

If I were strength I’d give you my all
I’d hold you high and never let your fall

If I were your heart I’d be steady and true
I’d be there in every beat; staying strong for you

If I were the sun I’d shine down upon your face
Illuminate your smile and radiate through your grace

If I were a star I’d sparkle like your eyes
I would look upon your life and never stop my shine

I don’t know how good at those things I could be
I’m not any of them but this I want you to see

If I were a friend I couldn’t let you down
I’d never let you fall or walk away from me with a frown

If I were a friend I would hold your hand
I would be with you always, I hope you understand

If I were a friend I would give you my all
And though it’s not much, I’ll be there when you call

If I were a friend I’d be in every memory too
When you laughed, when you cried, I’d be with you

I CAN be these things, it’s not impossible to be a friend
I CAN be your best and I’ll be here till the end

If I were forever, you would be too
Together forever – me and you…

........by Lucky

Friends Come in All Sizes

Friends come in all sizes

They will respect you
And respect your creativity for thinking outside the box..
There're there when you need a shoulder to lean on..
Or a great big hug..

A true friend takes interest in understanding what you're all about...
They see beyond the black and white to discover your true colors
And accept you just the way you are..Even...when you just wake up in the morning

So..make your own kind of music
Follow your heart wherever it takes you..

And when someone reaches out to you, don't be afraid to love them back..
They may just be a friend for life..
Practice patience and tolerance..

Good friends are hard to find, even harder to leave..
And impossible to forget!

IF GOD BRINGS U TO IT, HE WILL BRING U THROUGH IT …

Happy moments, PraisE God
Difficult moments, SeeK God
Quiet moments, WorshiP God
Painful moments, TrusT God
Every moments … ThanK God

Philosopy of LovE Life

To My Friends Who Are......... ..SINGLE
給我單身朋友們
Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it exludes you.

愛就像一隻蝴蝶。越要追牠，卻越要逃避。

But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it.

如果就隨牠自由的飛，牠會在你最不注意時飛向你。

Love can make you happy but often it hurts, but love's only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it.

愛使人快樂，卻常傷害人。但只有在你把愛給了一個真正 值得付出的人時，是最珍貴的。

So take your time and choose the best.
所以，花點時間去選擇最好的他 / 她吧。

To My Friends Who Are......... ...NOT SO SINGLE
給我那不是單身的朋友們
Love isn't about becoming somebody else's 'perfect person'.

愛不能使他 / 她成為一個 ' 完美的人 ' 。

It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

它卻可以使你找到一個幫你成長的他 /她。

To My Friends Who Are......... ...PLAYBOY/ GIRL TYPE

給我玩世不恭的朋友們
Never say 'I love you' if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if they aren't there.

如果你不在乎，不要 說' 我愛你 ' 。如果他們不在時，不要討論自已的感受。

Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart.

不要 涉足會使他人心碎的生活。

Never look in the eye when all you do is lie.

說 謊時，不要看著眼睛。

The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall and it works both ways...

最殘忍的事莫過於男人讓女人愛他，卻是逢場作戲。反之亦然 ...

To My Friends Who Are......... ...MARRIED

給我已婚的朋友們
Love is not about 'it's your fault', but 'I'm sorry' .

不要老是 說' 這是你的錯' ，何不說 ' ' 對不起 '。

Not 'where are you', but 'I'm right here'.

不要老是問 '你去哪裡了 '，何不 說' 我就在這兒等著你' 。

Not 'how could you', but 'I understand'.

不要老是問 '你怎麼會這麼作？ '，何不 說' 我了解你' 。

Not 'I wish you were', but 'I'm thankful you are'.

不要老是 說' 我希望你這麼做' ，何不說 ' 我感謝你的一切 ' 。

To My Friends Who Are......... ...ENGAGED
給我那已訂婚的朋友們
The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other.

要真正衡量包容心，不是看在一起幾年了，而是要看彼此的敬愛。

To My Friends Who Are......... ...HEARTBROKEN
給我心碎的朋友們
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go.

心碎的時間和傷害的深度，完全取決於你自已。

The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

難的是，如何從中學習，而不是從傷痛中爬起。

To My Friends Who Are......... ...NAIVE

給我所有天真的朋友們
How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent,

要如何戀愛？ --就愛吧。不要欲言又止；要互相協調，不要太固執；

share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand,

要分享，且千萬不要有不公平；要了解，別命令；

and get hurt but never keep the pain.
受傷後不要再記恨。

To My Friends Who Are......... ...POSSESSIVE
給我積極的朋友們
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else.

看到你所愛的他 / 她和其他人很快樂使你心碎。

But it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

但知道你所愛的他 /她是和你在一起不快樂，令人更加的傷心。

To My Friends Who Are......... ...AFRAID TO CONFESS
給我害怕去承認的朋友們
Love hurts when you break up with someone.

當你和他 / 她分手時，愛受到傷害。

It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you.

當他 / 她和你分手時，更是傷痛。

But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

但傷害最深的是你所愛的他 / 她完全無法了解你的感受。

To My Friends Who Are......... ...STILL HOLDING ON
給我那還在等待的朋友們
A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love,

only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it.

人生最傷心的事，是你和他 / 她愛情長跑了多年，最後的結局卻不如所望。

If he isn't worth it now he's not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now. Let go.....

如果他 / 她現在讓你覺得不值得付出，那麼一年，甚至十年後，都不會值得付出的。讓他 / 她走吧。

TO ALL MY FRIENDS..... ..

給我所有的朋友們
My wish for you is a man/women whose love is honest, strong, mature,

never-changing, uplifting, protective, encouraging, rewarding and unselfish.

我竭誠祝福你們愛著一個誠實、強壯、成熟、衷心、有衝勁、保護你、積極、值得付出和無私的他 / 她。